Sweetheart Scams: How romance can turn into financial risk for Seniors
Sadly, elder abuse—including financial exploitation—continues to impact far too many individuals in our communities. One particularly insidious form is scams, which often target older adults through phone calls, emails, or online messages.
With advances in artificial intelligence, voice impersonation scams are becoming more common—and more convincing. These scams don’t just target older adults, but our senior population is especially vulnerable due to the emotional nature of the approach.
Just yesterday, my mom received one of these calls. The person on the other end said, “Hello.” When my mom asked, “Who is this?” the caller replied, “Really? Don’t you recognize your granddaughter?!”—with attitude. My mom calmly responded, “Which one?” and the caller immediately hung up.
That moment of skepticism may have saved her from a much more serious situation.
Let’s talk to our parents, grandparents, and loved ones about how these scams work and how to respond. Even a short conversation can help someone pause before reacting—and that pause could make all the difference.
Charles Schwab recently published a guide to recognize these scams and how to prevent them. The five most common scams are:
Romance/marriage/sweetheart:
Sweepstakes/lottery
Government impersonator
Tech or fraud support
Real estate scam
This week we are exploring the sweetheart scam:
Online dating apps are very popular, even for older populations who may have recently lost a life partner or who are lonely. In addition to using online dating profiles, scammers have been known to initiate contact through more general platforms that have messaging or chat features, including social media and gaming sites. As a rule, these schemes avoid in-person interactions, preferring instead to focus exclusively on messaging apps and other online channels.
The scam works something like this: Your romantic interest may claim to live in another part of the country or to be abroad for business or military deployment. They seem to be really interested and eager to get to know you. They work to cultivate an emotional attachment by:
Asking a lot of personal questions to help prepare responses that appeal to you; for example, “Are you interested in a lifetime relationship?”
Quickly urging you to communicate through personal email or text rather than a monitored channel like messaging through
a dating appLavishing you with attention and often professing love very early in the relationship
Claiming to have no immediate family, sometimes mentioning the loss of a loved one
Once an emotional attachment is established, the scammer is eager to meet you in person. When the opportunity arrives, however, something invariably comes up—an accident, a health crisis, or other such unexpected occurrence; that is usually followed by an urgent request for financial assistance. For example, the scammer may claim to be stranded or detained, needing to pay a medical bill, or unable to meet an expense related to a quick business payout. If you can help out, they will pay you back as soon as they’re out of the current circumstances.
The scammer then instructs you to send money, promising a quick payback. But there is no return of funds, and, in some instances, they ask for yet more money.
How to protect yourself from these types of scams:
● Be wary of profiles set up very recently.
● Right-click and use your browser’s search feature to see if the person’s profile picture was copied from somewhere else on the internet, if the person is known by more than one name, or if the photo has been associated with other fraud or scam claims.
● Take things slowly, asking plenty of questions and noting any inconsistencies or red flags. Unwillingness to meet in person or speak on the phone can be cause for concern.
● Use caution when sharing personal information with someone you know only online.
● Consult a friend, family member, someone at our firm, or another trusted individual if red flags arise. Be willing to listen if they express concern.
● Do not send money to or accept money on behalf of an individual you’ve never met in person.
Questions to ask yourself
● Do I know the recipient of the funds and have I met them in person?
− In many romance scams, the victim has never met the scammer face-to-face.
● Did the recipient initiate contact?
● Have they requested funds in the past?
● Was I told that there was an “emergency” situation that caused financial need?
− A scammer may send a video or picture of an accident or other event to lend credibility.
If you answered yes to any of these questions, cease communication with the individual and discuss the request with a trusted source such as a family member or your financial advisor.